My Story: The Beauty of Vulnerability

Some of my fondest childhood memories involve attending park district yoga classes on Sunday mornings with my dad, where we’d indulge in hour-long sessions of wisdom, breath-work, core strengthening, postural training, and meditation. Being raised in a Gujarati household, I was accustomed to coming home from my yoga class to my mom’s home-made sweet, spongy, and delicious Gujarati snack, khaman dhokla. I can’t decide whether it was the yoga or the Gujarati breakfasts that made me feel more open-minded, energetic, and ready to take on the rest of the day—perhaps it was the combination of the two! In my adolescent years, I began delving deeper into my cultural roots by gaining experience in an Indian classical dance form called bharatanatyam. Through my dance classes I learned anecdotes of traditional Hindu stories and life lessons using graceful foot work and abhinaya, the art of using facial expressions and body language to communicate emotions. However, my greatest treat of all was when my grandparents were in town. I remember always looking forward to their presence knowing that I’d get to sit next to them and watch the 1988 TV series Mahabharat for hours at a time. I reaped the benefits of regularly practicing yoga with my dad, devouring mom’s traditional homemade cooking, and hearing stories from Hindu epics week by week not only through my dance classes but also by spending quality time with my grandparents. I suppose that a culmination of all of these things is what invariably instilled my deeply rooted passion for wellness, Indian culture, and Vedic philosophy at such a young age.

Although I continued to celebrate my colorful culture and heritage, my undergraduate academic pursuits of earning my dual Bachelor of Science degrees in Biology and Psychology from Loyola University Chicago briefly pulled me away from my regular practice of yoga. After graduation, I tried very hard to get into the field of optometry: a field that I did not have natural strengths in. I wasn’t the strongest math or science student, and complex problem solving and physics were just not my thing. I had other strengths. I was an avid reader, an effective communicator, a good speaker, a devoted dancer, and I always had a keenness for brightening anyone’s day. I was energetic, creative, strong-willed and always dreamed of working as a leader in my field. However at the time, most of my surrounding family and friends were succeeding in the sciences and thriving in their competitive healthcare programs, so to make myself less of an outsider, I worked day and night from weekdays to weekends to study for standardized tests and take additional classes. Over time, I deliberately became a much stronger math and science student which gave me the opportunity to fly out to a diverse set of interviews. I started in the east coast traveling to Pennsylvania and Massachusetts and even had the chance to interview all the way in southern California. From one rejection letter to the next, I was almost ready to outright give up. Thanks to my inner grit, quitting was not in my vocabulary. After finally making the cut on paper and in person, I earned my golden seat into optometry school right in my home state (you go girl!). I remember opening my acceptance letter as if it were yesterday: I was beaming with excitement and happiness. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry—I may have done a little bit of both! 

Jim Carry said it best, “I think everyone should do everything they ever dreamed of just so they can see that it’s not the answer”.  I convinced myself that by becoming an optometrist, all of my life’s goals would be achieved and that I would be happy, but deep down inside I knew that I didn’t want to dedicate my life to something I was not naturally strong in. In all honesty, I struggled a lot in my first year of optometry school and I was starting to wear myself into exhaustion. I gradually began recognizing that I may have made this career decision solely for the external validation from my parents, family, and friends which was really driving me in a terribly wrong direction. I was beginning to create a life that wasn’t valuable to me and that showed in my academic performance. For all it was worth, I genuinely did put a sincere and honest effort into the program, and I am grateful to the incredible friends I made in our class of 2020 (shout out to my encouraging and supportive ICO family!). In May 2017 I was dismissed from optometry school because I did not earn a GPA that was suitable for me to proceed forward onto second year. What at the time felt like the most heart-wrenching, disappointing, humiliating, and worst possible thing to ever happen to me actually ended up being my blessing. After dealing with my personal hardships with an arduous attempt towards a career that just did not end up aligning with my strengths no matter how hard I tried, I felt an extremely deep sense of hopelessness. I felt broken, lost, and scared to imagine my future differently. This fear is what urged me to step back onto my yoga mat to heal from my setbacks.  

I’ve come to understand the beauty of vulnerability

and the importance of being happy with who I am.

Overtime I started discovering strikingly positive changes in my physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing and began increasing my self-esteem and self-worth which all created an immensely huge shift in my life. I felt enormously inspired by the yoga teachers that taught each class and I was astonished by their knowledge in anatomy, physiology, mindfulness, and even Vedic literature. I looked up to them with the utmost respect and admiration, and I fell in love with what they were offering for the community. I even began envisioning myself leading a class of my own.  After reflecting back and appreciating my life-long vested interest in my rich Indian culture in combination with my dedication to health, wellness, and resilience,  I decided it was about time I combine my passion, strengths, and desire to pursue what I truly felt I was put on this earth to do: become a yoga instructor; and so I did! In a traditional family like mine, it wasn’t the easiest task putting this all into words, and presenting a new career to my parents that my peers did merely as a hobby. My unrelenting passion and determination to make this work is what won over my parents’ heart and—although resistant at first—they eventually supported my drive, and became my greatest fans. From September 2019 to January 2020 I enrolled in an immersive 200-hour yoga teacher training program with Yoga by Degrees, and I had the most exhilarating experience. I completed my yoga training all alongside working full-time in the field of orthopedic surgery where I am part of a team of dedicated individuals that focus primarily on sports injuries, joint replacement, and fracture care. We see nearly one-hundred patients each week, and over time I’ve grown to appreciate that each patient requires their own unique plan. I believe that incorporating a safely instructed yoga practice can certainly increase the success rate for a lot of the existing orthopedic protocols that doctors prescribe and suggest. My yoga training and current work position compliment one another seamlessly, and I am in an evermore happier place.   

We don’t realistically get to know ourselves unless we’re tested by some sort of adversity. Through the challenges I faced with unexpectedly changing direction in my career, it’s the critical words that came from my own self that were a lot more hurtful than even the curtest rejection letter (and trust me, there were many). I’ve come to understand the beauty of vulnerability and the importance of being happy with who I am. I believe that my 200-hour yoga teacher training as allowed me to embrace all of my strengths, break out of my shell, and be the very best version of myself, if I may quote the cliche. I genuinely thank both sets of parents for their blessings, unconditional love, and earnest support. For that reason, I dedicate my teacher training my to my incredible parents and my incredible in-laws. My dad and my father-in-law serve as my inspiration in that they both maintain a regular yoga and meditation practice to this very day, and are exceptionally resourceful when it comes to all things relating to yoga and wellness. My mom and my mother-in-law serve as my inspiration in that they are my constant source of positive light and are always by my side cheering me on throughout my yoga journey. Above all, I thank my amazing husband. He keeps me laughing uncontrollably and really adds a spark to my day. He inspires me to be creative in my own ways and he keeps me motivated to continue working towards what I truly love. What’s best of all is that he is always ready to roll out his yoga mat at any time of the day to be my student as I test out new sequences for my classes. In hindsight, I am grateful for the unique course of events that brought me to where I am today. In fact, it is through my hardships and setbacks that I rediscovered a quality that I had within me all along: my grit and my ability to persevere. I am now prepared to turn over a new leaf. I am so very excited to pioneer through a brand new path in my life, and create a bright and expansive new space for me to thrive in.